Clay Aiken made a woman out of me. Sort of.

I'm gonna be straight with you. I listened to my Clay Aiken CD today.

Oh yes. Clearing out a lot of doubles and junk from my iTunes collection, I came across "The Measure of a Man," an early 2000's release from America's favorite runner-up. I can still remember my high school boyfriend's graduation party at a nearby park gazebo. Ryan Seacrest incredibly drew out the announcement of that year's winner, and the crowed collectively cheered and booed. I hadn't watched it that season, but the flatiron soon won me over, and I was eventually driving around to Clay Aiken's first solo CD.

When Clay--let's call him simply 'Clay,' shall we?--sings, "I'll be damned if I have thoughts of you rain on my new beginning," I sang it out in Mom's empty Saturn to an old boyfriend, surprised by the satisfaction of saying the d-word. Later, when my future husband broke up with his girlfriend, the only way I could figure out why I cared so darn much was Clay's "Run to Me." I thought of the man I'd eventually marry when Clay sang "This is the Night," singing that everything had finally come into place and forever was starting then and there. When I felt worthless, "Perfect Day" made me think that things would turn out okay. I'm laughing now, because it probably wouldn't kill some wives to listen to the title track once a year or so.

No one will praise an American Idol album for its subversive lyrical subtleties, but I could drive Nebraska roads imagining the people and the situations these stories were about. I wrote stories in my head and, like any breathing teenager, I found my own life and troubles in the songs. When each key change, I justified my foolish emotions just a little more. I molded and twisted my own lyrics and stretched meanings into irony, denouements, and clever semantics. I figured out I liked words a heck of a lot.

In hindsight, the CD is a big load of crap. (Surprise.) It's a pretty package of pop with a made-over statue of pop-culture doing all the right choreography. But it was my companion during a year of two of adolescent heartbreak and turmoil, a time when I was figuring out how much words meant to me, not to mention slightly-nerdy boys with blonde hair and blue eyes. Sure, maybe it took a cover of 'People' to finally convince me he was gay, but, hey, maybe I'm still an optismistic 17 year old girl. After all, I love me some BSB every now and then.

*I would like to note that the "Last Played" on these songs was 1/21/2006.*